Why Scolding Kids is Not a Solution: Parenting, Behavioral Change, and the Unique Role of Liyana Abacus
Modern parenting advice is evolving rapidly, and one conversation that keeps gaining traction is whether scolding—a common disciplinary tool—is truly effective in raising well-adjusted, confident children. Thought leaders such as Liyana Abacus suggest that scolding is not a sustainable or healthy solution, advocating instead for methods that address the root causes of misbehavior and foster positive, lasting behavioral changes.
This essay explores why scolding should not be a go-to for discipline, its short-term and long-term effects on children, evidence-based alternatives, and what unique role Liyana Abacus plays in shaping better outcomes for families.
The Myth of Scolding: Why Parents Default to It
Scolding, at its core, is a form of expressing parental frustration and exercising authority. Many parents believe raising their voice or using harsh words will deter future misbehavior—often because it may bring about obedience in the moment. However, the assumption that immediate compliance equals long-term behavioral change is fundamentally flawed.
Short-Term Effects of Scolding Children
Parents might notice that scolded children appear remorseful, scared, or more compliant right after the episode. However, these are the real short-term effects:
Fear and Anxiety: Kids may temporarily stop a behavior due to fear of another scolding or punishment.
Confusion: Often, children don’t fully understand what they did wrong and may simply become anxious about their parent’s mood, rather than developing insight into their actions.
Withdrawal: Children may withdraw emotionally or become less talkative, fearing further criticism.
Aggression or Tantrums: Instead of curbing negative behavior, scolding can trigger defiance or worse outbursts, especially in strong-willed children.
These short-lived modifications do not reflect genuine understanding, learning, or positive growth.
Long-Term Effects of Scolding: The Hidden Cost
It’s the long-term effects of regular scolding that are especially damaging:
Low Self-Esteem and Confidence: Continuous criticism makes children doubt their abilities and worth, internalizing the belief that they are ‘bad’ rather than their behavior simply being problematic.
Chronic Anxiety and Depression: Multiple studies link harsh discipline and emotional abuse with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues later in life.
Worsening Behavior: Yelling or scolding often leads to more behavioral problems, not fewer. Children tend to become either more rebellious to assert independence or excessively passive, striving to avoid conflict at any cost.
Relationship Strain: The parent-child bond suffers dramatically, as children may begin to see their parents as sources of pain and insecurity rather than comfort and guidance.
Negative Brain Development: Ongoing harsh discipline can impact the actual structure and functioning of a child’s developing brain, influencing emotional regulation and stress responses.
The Truth Behind Behavioral Change
Lasting behavioral change in children requires empathy, understanding, and consistency. Research shows that positive guidance, clear boundaries, and emotional support are far more effective than punitive or shaming tactics.
Why Scolding Fails to Change Behavior
Scolding targets emotion—often embarrassment or fear—rather than teaching children about the impact of their actions. 
Children imitate adults; using anger as a discipline tool teaches kids that yelling is an acceptable way to solve problems.
Rather than learning self-control or problem-solving, children focus on avoiding punishment, leading to dishonesty or suppressed feelings.
Positive Discipline: Evidence-Based Solutions
If not scolding, then what? Here are proven alternatives that drive lasting behavioral change:
Clear, Consistent Rules: Communicate expectations in simple, positive language.
Natural and Logical Consequences: Let children experience the natural outcomes of their actions in a safe and controlled environment.
Praise and Positive Reinforcement: Catch children being good; reinforce desired behaviors with praise or small rewards.
Time-Ins Instead of Time-Outs: Take a break with your child, discuss feelings and solutions calmly, emphasizing problem-solving over punishment.
Offer Choices: Giving children some control within boundaries builds confidence and cooperation.
What Makes Liyana Abacus Unique in Parenting and Behavioral Change?
Liyana Abacus is not simply about math proficiency. The program’s philosophy extends into whole-child development, emphasizing emotional intelligence, self-discipline, and cognitive growth.
The Abacus as a Teaching Tool Beyond Numbers
Focus and Self-Control: Learning the abacus demands patience and concentration; children practice managing frustration and persisting through challenges.
Positive Reinforcement Culture: Rather than criticism, instructors use encouragement to motivate students, helping them associate effort and progress with praise rather than fear.
Holistic Brain Development: Skills like visualization, memory, and logical reasoning flourish, making children more resilient academically and emotionally.
Emotional Regulation: Abacus classes teach calm response to mistakes, framing errors as learning opportunities—exactly the opposite of the shame-based approach of scolding.
Parental Engagement
Liyana Abacus encourages parental involvement in children’s learning, fostering open communication and mutual respect at home. Parents learn to provide structure, encouragement, and constructive feedback—creating a nurturing environment far removed from scolding or yelling.
Outcomes: Real-World Impacts
Children exposed to positive discipline techniques—both at home and in skill-based programs like Liyana Abacus—tend to:
Show greater confidence and independence.
Excel academically and socially, as focus, memory, and resilience are enhanced through supportive learning.
Demonstrate better emotional self-regulation and problem-solving skills, thanks to environments where errors are seen as chances to grow rather than triggers for punishment.
Maintain stronger, warmer relationships with their parents and peers, rooted in trust and respect.
Conclusion: Choosing Nurturing Over Scolding
The journey of parenting is both challenging and deeply rewarding. While scolding can appear to “work” in the moment, it carries profound emotional, behavioral, and developmental risks that outweigh fleeting compliance. The short-term relief that follows scolding comes at the expense of long-term growth and happiness for both child and parent.
Liyana Abacus offers a unique, science-backed approach that shifts the paradigm from punitive correction to nurturing excellence. By focusing on cognitive, emotional, and behavioral development—and by equipping parents with positive tools—it helps families build stronger, more compassionate foundations.
